Author Archives: akhillaker

There is a famous quote about vocation from Frederick Buechner which reads “your vocation in life is where your deep gladness and the world’s deep hunger meet.” It’s a wonderful and instructive idea, but I think we tend to love this quote when we’re trying to find our vocation, and then promptly start to ignoreContinue reading “Watch for Gladness”

I will be upfront with saying that sometimes I struggle to say no. If I can technically do something for someone— if I have the time or the money or the ability, I feel like it is necessary to say yes, regardless of how I actually feel about it. My response so often is drivenContinue reading “When Jesus Leaves Town”

This year, a small word has been following me around, asking me questions, and honestly, pestering me a bit. Hope seems like an innocuous word, but there’s a lot in there to wrestle with. I think I’m often tempted to see hope in utilitarian terms, a means to an end. Hope is something that keepsContinue reading “Hope with Cleats”

I texted this quote to a friend of mine recently, and she quipped back, “You read really challenging things.” She wasn’t wrong. I’ve been slowly reading my way through Scott Erickson’s beautiful book Say Yes: Discover the Surprising Life beyond the Death of a Dream. When I read this line, it resonated with me deeply.Continue reading “Vulnerable”

When you live life by just getting through, be that physically, emotionally, or otherwise, it becomes a habit. After so many years of living this way, reeling from chronic illness, grief, and a range of other challenges, I have noticed that it is quite hard to stop. Even when things are going well, I noticeContinue reading “Breaking the Habit”

I went for a walk yesterday morning, as I usually do, and found myself distracted by the needs of others. No one was with me, but the pain and challenges of the people I love came along anyway. My mind kept wandering to what they might need, how I might be able to offer helpContinue reading “Into the Presence of Beauty”

When I open my phone’s storage tab, it gives me a little chart that shows me how all of the memory on my phone is being used. It breaks it down into categories and gives me advice on how to free up space. But the thing is, I usually only open this when my phoneContinue reading “The Other Stuff”

Recently, I sat on the deck of the vacation home I was renting with my family, feeling the fog wrap around me, frizzing my hair and making everything slightly damp. I curled up with my coffee and watched as the swimming platform floating in the lake gradually revealed itself with more clarity through the mist.Continue reading “Seeing Clearly”

As this week has gone on, I have realized that I have been carrying a lot of things around with me— some physical pain, some big emotions, and some thoughts that need a little extra room. I found myself saying “later” to all of these things, when what I think they really need is justContinue reading “A Little Space”

When I left my last church position, an image surfaced for me in prayer that has returned to me ever since. The picture is that of a cleared garden bed. The growing season is done, the old growth has been removed, and the soil has been turned over. It is a picture of hard workContinue reading “Holding Space in the Garden”