Author Archives: akhillaker

I am a feelings person. I am not shy of my feelings in the least. On the contrary, sometimes I am too connected to my emotions. But because of that, when the big ones roll around I am often wary. There are seasons— of grief, of pain, of fear, of change— when it feels likeContinue reading “Come Along, Feelings”

This fall, I read the latest book of essays by the inimitable Zadie Smith. I always love her work, but I found myself so moved, so thought-provoked by these essays, and they have really stuck with me during this season. I have returned again and again in particular to one of her essays entitled “SufferingContinue reading “The Bubble of Suffering”

I once knew a retired pastor who prayed the same prayer every night during his ministry. It went something along the lines of: “God, I have done my best. But it’s your church, and I’m going to bed.” I love this prayer, but it is a tough one to live out! There is so muchContinue reading “Teach us to care and not to care”

Throughout much of my time working and worshipping in church and ministry settings, I found a question consistently bouncing around in the back of my head. “Who is pastoring the pastors? Where can the leaders go for support, wisdom, encouragement, and direction?” This question returned to me in countless settings. In churches. In schools. InContinue reading “Wellspring”

In the past few weeks, in the course of my daily walks, I have taken up my winter tradition of admiring branches. With the leaves stripped back, you see trees at their essence. There is something architectural and stunning about their shapes— it’s like seeing their hearts. But I have also been struck this yearContinue reading “Nests”

It is good to share this space with you. And space is what this is intended to be— held space to journey together, reflect, be still, and if we’re lucky, hear God’s voice echoed to us here.  I hesitated for a long time in beginning this, too focused on how it may impact me, orContinue reading “Hello There!”